Echelon story sentence and blurb

Story Sentence: A pregnant rebel, escaping fellow conspirators, finds she needs a cynical bounty hunter of an enemy race to protect her, even if it means leaving Earth.

250-Word Blurb:

Maia Thomas. Quiet. Widowed. And expecting her first child. A child that’s supposed to save humanity. Her late husband, considered a prophet by those humans who have managed to escape the slavery imposed by the Tuatha dé Danann — not gods, but aliens who have returned — said it, and now those who remain of the rebels are clinging to her as their only hope.

Even if it means putting that same child at risk once she’s born.

Unwilling to let anyone, even fellow humans, put her child in danger, Maia escapes and finds herself in an even worse situation. She needs food, shelter, and protection from the increasing dangers around her. The best she can find is Kaylan.

Kaylan is an outcast from the Darushee — known to the humans as the Tuatha dé Danann. Considered non-sentient, he’s made a life for himself outside the clan, bringing escaped criminals to justice. A human like Maia isn’t his concern, no matter how often she tries to make herself useful. And yet the longer he’s around her, the more he’s drawn to her, even though he knows it’d be smarter to get rid of her as fast as he can.

But when a desperate human decides to get Maia back at all costs, both Maia and Kaylan will have to ask themselves if they’re willing to trade what they want for what they need.

Just thought I’d post some of what I worked on today. I’m revising a story and to do it I’m going back to a method I wasn’t able to do for most of the Trial of the Ornic series: Holly Lisle’s One-Pass Revision. It’s the best I’ve found. For those who are looking for a method that will help you clean up your manuscript without putting you through Revision Slog, there’s a truncated version on her website, her course How to Think Sideways outlines it, and she has an entire course devoted to it, How to Revise Your Novel. The Story Sentence and Blurb idea are from that method (I took How to Think Sideways when it was offered on Amazon), but I realized today that I hadn’t done that for Echelon.

So I did.

What do you think?





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