the why of writing

no revising today and getting cheeky

I haven’t revised anything today.  I didn’t yesterday either.  Could barely think most of yesterday.  Wasn’t feeling well.

Now I feel restless.  It’s almost as bad as when I don’t write.

I think that’s why I got a little playful on a fan message board for Eric Johnson (hereby referred to as EJ or Mr. Johnson).  I mean, I’ve never met the guy face to face, never had a phone conversation with him, never even exchanged email or a private message and I’m cracking jokes about his birthday.  This is very unlike me.  I’m usually much more sober than this.

And yet, I don’t care.  I mean, at best he’ll think I’m funny.  At worst he’ll think I’m weird.  Heck, if we want to go worst-case scenario, he’ll have me blacklisted from any and all future concerts he will or may have.  And if things really go bad he’ll personally ask the moderators to ban me from ever posting anything, ever again.  Worst-case.  Not going to happen.  And I’m okay with him thinking I’m weird and avoiding me at a meet and greet once he finds out who I am.  The reason?  I will not try to meet him outside his bus or at the stage.  Seriously.  The only reason I would is to get an autograph or some other… thing… that will literally only take a few seconds of his time.  I mean, if it were me after a show, I’d be so tired I could hardly think and yet this guy is out there, smiling, talking to his fans.  I admire that.  But I would rather see him get on the bus and get some rest.  And what would I do with an autograph or a picture of the two of us anyway?  It’s not like I live down the street from him and we invite each other over for dinner once a month.  That’s what I take photos of me with other people for, is to remember that friendship.  The only other reason I can think of is bragging rights.  Is there a reason I’m missing?  And an autograph is only useful if you plan to sell whatever has that signature.  I don’t see the point otherwise.

Do I sound cold?  I don’t mean it that way.  If it really gives someone pleasure to have their photo taken with someone famous or get an autograph, that’s theirs and I think that’s great.  I just get the feeling it’s an excuse to stand and talk for a few minutes with someone who’s admired.  That’s the only reason I would even try.  And because I know that, I won’t.

Because–and I know this is going to sound creepy, so, Mr. Johnson, if you read this, don’t know why you would, but if you do, please don’t take it that way–if I’m going to take the time to meet anyone famous, especially EJ, I don’t want it to be a quick few seconds outside a bus right after a show.  I’d want it to be at least a few minutes, in a setting where we could actually talk, where I wouldn’t feel pressured because I’m one in a line and he wouldn’t feel pressured because he’s got to be who knows where the next morning.  I have no idea what we would even talk about because chances are good we wouldn’t have any common ground except that I love his music and he loves creating music.

There’s also a very good chance I’d go Trekkie and ruin his clothes with my slobber.  But that’s beside the point.

I guess the point is that I need to make sure I get some time to revise tomorrow or my restlessness will have me rambling like [insert favorite appropriate metaphor here].

[Note:  Just want to clarify, I don’t think anything less of anyone who wants to wait around for an autograph.  That’s all.]

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